4 Days and Counting

The best thing about April is of course that big day. The day that only comes once a year, but means so much more. The day that you turn a year older, and have to start to be wiser than you were before.

Coincidentally it falls on the same day as prom this year. I think I'm more nervous about prom than my big day. Honestly, I don't really want anything grand or special, even a simple dinner with close friends is enough. Sure, when you were younger you would have asked for a huge party with balloons and a huge cake and all your classmates; but somehow as you grow older you really start to feel that it's very much unnecessary. I'm not even looking forward to big dinner outings with fake people who only smile in front of you. I just need a few close friends beside me and it would be perfect.

4 days to go. Fingers crossed that everything will be perfect. =D

My wish for the past 2 years. I just want everything to go back to normal before they became so screwed up.

xoxo

-Penny-

How much is too much?

People need to start knowing about this rule. Seriously. Can't someone just be quiet and not talking without being judged?

Mentality is a funny thing. You get judged by every small matter just because other people have nothing better to do. It's really frustrating sometimes. But what can you do? Suck it up and keep your mouth shut. The more you protest or say anything, the more people have to say about you.

This is my life to live. I don't need your permission or your approval. Why don't you stop sticking your nose into my business and just try to live yours?


xoxo
-Penny-

Tough times don't last; Tough people do

So you'd think that after mid-semester exams finish we could take a break and breathe. Nope, you have it wrong. Four assignments and one report pending, SPA interview and prom all piling up. A bit nervous about the interview, but just keep calm and everything should be fine. *fingers crossed*

So for this interview, our lecturer suggested that it would be better if everyone could wear the same dress code. So everyone just blankly decided on baju kurung, which is a traditional Malay wear. Honestly I'm not a huge fan - I wore it a couple of times during my National Service, and probably it's the cutting of the dress that makes you look extra fat. I've already had my mind set on formal clothes - white formal top, black knee-length skirt and kitten heels. So screw their plans, I'm dressing to make myself happy.

But no, someone had to have a say in it. So A said she could borrow some baju kurung-s to lend me for the interview. I declined, saying I'm not planning on wearing that. So she went to tell B, and B had to speak up her mind saying that because of the few people who don't want to cooperate, the interviewers will all hate us, that we were the black sheep of the flock and we are sabotaging everyone.

I was pissed off at this comment. Hell, why should I follow the norm? In case you'd forgotten, you also wanted to wear formal wear too, but when everyone was wearing baju kurung you just had to follow the trend. Suit yourself. It's to your liking - not mine. Wear whatever you like. I didn't comment on that. So why do you need to comment on what I'm gonna wear?

Pray that everything will be alright.

P/S: Two weeks to go. =P


xoxo
-Penny-

Study Week

Yes, it's study week again. Actually it already started since last Saturday, but every single day feels more like relax and procrastinate day more than studying. Adding on to that with the crazy hot weather, I'm feeling slightly sick and have been downing water like no one's business. I miss home.

Domino's opened last Thursday and dragged some friends along to try it out. Their service was good, with more polite staff than other pizzerias. Somehow the pizzas tasted better too, and I feel that they have a wider selection with better toppings. Though I still miss Pizza Hut's spicy chicken fingers and honey BBQ wings. Actually told myself to stop eating pizzas this semester, since I suspect that all the weight gained last semester was from eating too much pizza. But then Domino's had to open, so WTF right? LOL.

Entering into the sixth day of study week, procrastination has to stop but it seems endless. Everything else just seems more interesting than studying. Oh exams, please be kind to me.

Oh, how I wish I could do this every day.

xoxo

-Penny-

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The weather's so hot right now I'm having a headache. But I can't sleep yet because I have to wait for some friends to online to discuss our hospital training stuff. My head is pounding and I don't feel very well, especially with the nose block and sore throat. Someone kill me please.

Yesterday we had to make up our mind on which hospital we would like to go to for the 5-week training after finals. Of course everyone wanted the closest one which is about 5 minutes drive. Being the bigger person, we decided to go to Hospital Alor Setar. We were all okay with carpooling every day, but if it got too tiring then we would rent a house there. Which I dreaded because it would be so troublesome. Especially when there's no internet. But then some people had to make our lives miserable and steal our spots, so we ended up going to Hospital Kulim. Right now the people who are going to the hospital are all pretty nice ones, so it should be a fun experience. *prays*

Been pretty active in Whatsapp lately, but sometimes I really don't feel like replying the messages there. I thought I had let it go, but whenever the ringtone comes up I still have a dreaded feeling. Trying to look past all of it, but sometimes I really do miss talking to him.

I think I'm gonna head to bed early, have dimsum plan in the morning and also need to send my printer for fixing. More money needed, FML.

 

xoxo
-Penny-

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It's funny to see how some people make up stories and lie to your face when you've already known the truth. It's funny to see how they try to cover up their own lies by spinning some crazy excuse and story as if you're dumb. It's really funny.

You know, I try to be the nice girl, the bigger person, the better one. I ignore your sloppiness, your laziness, your dirtiness, your bitchy-ness, and all your imperfections. I don't say anything, not because I don't care, but because I don't want to bother myself with these petty things. Another five months and I won't see your fake face ever again. I'm starting to count down the days.

 

xoxo
-Penny-

'Friends'

I'm not the type of person who complains about the little things. I can forgive and forget, and pretend like nothing's wrong. I can smile and laugh even after you've betrayed me. Yes, I'm that type of person. Call me stupid, call me naive, call me what you want. I'm just me.

But after all that, don't expect me to trust you again. I can still treat you like a friend, but I won't trust you. So don't call me cold if I don't talk to you anymore. I only talk to people who matters to me. People who treat me as friends and who show sincerity. You? You're just another piece of shit.

You can have outings with my friends, talk about whatever shit you want about me behind my back, backstab me yet smile your fuckingly fake smile in front of me. I don't care. I don't mind, and you don't matter. That's why people call it 'mind over matter'.

You are not a part of my life, and I don't need you. You wanna be fake with me? Sure, I can do the same. You think you're the only one who can fake a smile? Please, bitch. You're not even close.

 

xoxo
-Penny-