Today is the eve of Chinese New Year, just came back from a simple and quiet reunion dinner with family. Tomorrow will be the big day where everyone gathers and gossips. Ughh.
Another 2 more weeks before going back, somehow not really looking forward to it. Right now I can avoid him because I don't see him, but everything's gonna change when I'm back. Sometimes I don't even know what to say to him anymore on Facebook, what more do you expect me to do when I'm talking to him face-to-face?
A year ago I was unsure if I wanted to curl my hair, but I did so anyway because he said he wanted to see it. And I permed my hair again for Chinese New Year because I just didn't know what to do with my hair. I had planned to cut it short, but dismissed it because I know it just won't suit me. And right now, I kinda regret it. I should have cut it all off because right now it just reminds me of him more and more.
Anyhow, just hoping that the new year will be much better. Imma so rock tomorrow with my killer heels. =)
xoxo
-Penny-
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
When it hurts
Another 7 days to go before Chinese New Year. Nothing special this year as it'll just be like normal. But I'm looking forward to all the cookies and good food. *wink*
I used to be on Facebook pretty much 24/7. Sometimes when my chatbox goes crazy I'll have my Skype on so that I can receive messages, and since it connects to my Facebook, it pretty much shows that I'm online even when I'm away.
But I do all these just because of one person.
The one person that makes you smile when you see his name pop up; the person that you just can't stop thinking about no matter what you're doing; the person that makes your heart beat faster and gets your pulse racing, who makes you speechless and your mind just goes blank in his presence.
And then I realise, you're just his option even when you make him your priority.
He has over 600 friends on his Facebook. When he's online he doesn't talk to me all the time, and this makes my heart sink. And then, as time goes by, I start to realise that he'll only talk to me when there's no one else around.
Which basically makes me a replacement. And all this time, I've always been the back-up. I'm the one he turns to when he needs something done, the one he talks to when there's no one else online. And if there's someone more important, I'll be the invisible speck of dust that fades into the background.
Now I understand why some people don't like Facebook. Sometimes I'm scared to go on Facebook, because his name is always there even when he's not. Which is why I actually prefer Twitter at the moment. At least it's more private and I can rant whatever's on my mind without letting the whole world knowing about it.
xoxo
-Penny-
I used to be on Facebook pretty much 24/7. Sometimes when my chatbox goes crazy I'll have my Skype on so that I can receive messages, and since it connects to my Facebook, it pretty much shows that I'm online even when I'm away.
But I do all these just because of one person.
The one person that makes you smile when you see his name pop up; the person that you just can't stop thinking about no matter what you're doing; the person that makes your heart beat faster and gets your pulse racing, who makes you speechless and your mind just goes blank in his presence.
And then I realise, you're just his option even when you make him your priority.
He has over 600 friends on his Facebook. When he's online he doesn't talk to me all the time, and this makes my heart sink. And then, as time goes by, I start to realise that he'll only talk to me when there's no one else around.
Which basically makes me a replacement. And all this time, I've always been the back-up. I'm the one he turns to when he needs something done, the one he talks to when there's no one else online. And if there's someone more important, I'll be the invisible speck of dust that fades into the background.
Now I understand why some people don't like Facebook. Sometimes I'm scared to go on Facebook, because his name is always there even when he's not. Which is why I actually prefer Twitter at the moment. At least it's more private and I can rant whatever's on my mind without letting the whole world knowing about it.
Because sometimes, you just want to sit down and hug yourself tight, telling yourself that everything's gonna be alright and that tomorrow's gonna be even better.
xoxo
-Penny-
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