Yesterday I told myself it was time to let go, that it's time for me to move on with my life just as you've moved on with yours. You didn't appear in my dreams last night, so I took it as a good sign.
Then just now during in campus training, of all the places there were, I ended up sitting behind you. I stopped dead in my tracks when my friend pointed to the seat next to her. I hesitated, but other people were starting to settle in so I just sat down. But the whole time I felt very uncomfortable. As the lecturer was talking in front, I found myself staring at you. I knew you couldn't see me, or maybe you knew I was watching. You kept perfectly still, only on two occasions you took out your phone to reply messages. And even though I couldn't see your face, I knew you were smiling.
Tomorrow's OSCE got cancelled, not feeling any sighs of relief because it just meant that Thursday will be hell busy with another viva. Feeling so helpless since I couldn't study any of the lecture notes; nothing seems to be going in my mind at all no matter how many times I read it over and over again.
This week is already the last week of lectures, which means next week is already study week and finals will be the week after. Have so much studying to catch up on I almost don't know where to start.
God help me.
xoxo
-Penny-
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