So I'm finally back in this wretched place. Reality has already started to sink in, and it's yet another killer semester that I'm gonna face. Every time I'm back in this place I feel like I don't belong at all. It's like I'm a Martian that has landed on Earth, and everything around me feels so completely unknown.
I had wanted to let go of this life. To put down everything, turn around and just walk away. I never wanted this life. This isn't me. Sitting at the table and crazily forcing walls after walls of text into my brain. I don't like this life, whereby everything is so exam-orientated, that even the slightest failure will make people think twice about your intelligence.
I don't talk to people often. Yes, I admit I'm anti-social. Yes, I admit I'm socially awkward around large crowds of people. I don't have good people skills. I keep everything to myself, and rarely I let someone into my life.
But I'm loyal. If I treat you as a friend, I will try my very best to be a friend. I won't talk about you behind your back; I won't backstab you; I won't treat you like royalty when I need you and treat you like shit when I don't.
No, I'm not that kind of person. It's not how I was born and raised.
But you people are the same kind of fucked up shit. You treat me like a close buddy when you need me. When you don't, you turn your back on me and act as if you don't know me at all. When you find a new friend, you forgot your old ones, those who helped you previously.
I hope karma fucks you the same way you fucked with me. I ain't gonna be a nice girl anymore. No way. Watch out dirt, the bitch is coming.
xoxo
-Penny-
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