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Monday, February 20, 2012

Reality

Had a brief escape to Genting during the weekend, stayed over for one night and went to the theme park to try to enjoy myself. But the truth is, I couldn't focus at all. My mind kept going back to what had happened and what I could do to make things right. I even went on all the scary roller coaster rides I had never dared to before. Had wanted to scream so badly, but no matter what I did I just couldn't. Even my friends were amazed at my calmness. But they didn't know the truth.

Now I'm back to this place and reality starts to set in. I don't know what to do anymore. A thousand questions keep flashing through my mind as I wondered about my future. Whether I'll be able to graduate successfully; whether I still get to keep my scholarship; whether I'll be able to retake the exam and pass.

Physically and mentally tired at the moment after 5 hours of traveling on the bus. Have yet to take dinner, and my stomach is starting to protest against the hunger, but somehow I just don't have the appetite. Maybe will go make myself some oats since I didn't want to get gastric pains again. But right now, another thing I'm more worried about is whether I can sleep or not. I'm sure it'll be a restless night, even though the weather is so nice and cooling with the heavy rain outside.

Bless me. I really need a miracle right now. But somehow, I'm having bad feelings and it doesn't seem to go away anytime soon...


xoxo
-Penny-

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