I've been feeling moody and sad lately. At first I thought it was just the hormones and stress. I'd get so pissed when this guy would come over and go to my housemate's room where they would laugh and joke so loudly I can hear from my side. He is our classmate and we used to be close, until he found her more interesting and decided to forget my existence. So now, both of them are like BFFs where they'd hang out and go out together until late night, and everyone else would think they're a couple.
But he said before, he won't date girls from the same class, or from this school. They live in two ends, one in the northern part and the other in the southern part. He's still in love with his ex-girlfriend, whom he still talks about from time to time; He still wears the ring they bought together; He still views her profile to see how she's doing with her new boyfriend.
So just now, my friend told me she'd found someone. I smiled and congratulated her, but I didn't know how true is it. Yeah, today is April Fool's day, so I don't really believe what she's saying. But still, I get this really sad feeling. And for days now, I keep thinking why. I did think it was jealousy, but now I know the truth.
I wasn't jealous; I wasn't angry; I'm just sad because everyone around me is moving on with a new chapter in their life, and they're happy. As for me, I'm still standing here, where I've been all my life. I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do, and I have no one.
There's no more spot for me on the happy train, and it has already left the station. And I'm here all alone with nowhere to go.
I do.
xoxo
-Penny-
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